Thursday, November 29, 2012


(Some months ago, I read a post on my daughter’s wall about misconceptions of only children, that they are spoilt, clingy, lonely, etc. That inspired me to think about myself as a mother of one, henceforth referred to as MOO in this posting.)


I am a MOO, a “mom of one.” Yes, I have only one child, one fruit of the womb. And at my age, I will be a MOO till the day I die (unless God does a Sarah thing on me). Let me tell you some truths about being a MOO.

1. I am NOT bitter, angry, or unhappy about my MOOship. As a matter of fact, I am a very content, normal, and happy person.

2. I didn’t become a MOO because I didn’t like children – and the mess, sleepless nights, pees and poos that come with them.

3. Like many MOOs, I actually adore children. That’s why I have been teaching Sunday school for more than 20 years. Just a bonus information: people who teach other people’s angelic / argumentative / attention-demanding / A-star kids for 20 years don’t do it because they have one child or no children. They simply enjoy it (crazy, huh?).

4. So why am I a MOO again? Suffice to say for now it is God’s decision. There are people who choose to be MOOs but not me.

5. Here’s a confession. I used to feel funny when people gave me strange looks when they found out that I’m a MOO. Not anymore. Now, I find it funny that they should be offended by my MOOnity. Well, I don’t live to please people; I live for God’s perfect plan for my life.

6. This next point may surprise you: I DO NOT envy those with more than one child. I didn't ask to be a MOO but now that I am, there's no sorrow to it. I’m happy – even ecstatic - for people with 2, 4, 6, 12, 18 (don’t laugh, my grandpa had 18) kids. I may sometimes wonder if they’re getting enough sleep or space, but I definitely don’t sit and sulk, thinking of them and their troops charging up the hills with the sound of music.

7. Here’s another surprise: like many of my tribe, I ENJOY being a MOO. My daughter and I could see-saw perfectly, fit into one arm chair and watch TV, share one apple, one can of drinks, one plate of chicken rice, and one bento evenly.

8. And my parenting plan is too easy: I (and my husband, the FOO – Father Of One) simply give our child all that we could generously and unreservedly. I didn’t say “fairly”; that’s because we have only one, remember? It's always fair.

9. At this point, let me thank those of you who have had sleepless nights worrying that I would raise a good-for-nothing, self-absorbed OO (Only One). Awww, you shouldn’t have. At the ripe age of 9, my daughter had already mastered pounding our family secret chilli (for steamed crabs); at 17 she catered party food to earn her pocket money; while waiting for her As results, she waitressed at Haagen Daz; and as a freshman she started volunteering for a ministry to abused children, and is still doing it.

10. And this is no attention-craving, narcissistic chatterbox. As an only child, she learned early to not fear solitude and to respect other people’s need for silence. But she is no socially-maladjusted, scrawny and miserable recluse either. She blogs, tweets, teaches Sunday school, and gets invited to too many weddings and farewells. In other words, she loves people; but she doesn't depend on people for motivation or entertainment.



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About Me

In the Old Testament in the Bible, there was a man named Jacob who "wrestled with God and man." He wouldn't let God go until God answered his prayers. God admired that and renamed him Israel, "the one who fought or wrestled and prevailed". He fought with man--his inner man--and conquered his own weaknesses. He's my hero. He is what I hope God and man see me to be.